is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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