okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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