He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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