I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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