tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
birth control should be required to get into college
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
