We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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