i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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