Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
