So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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