He is like the real live version of the state fair..
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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