We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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