Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
