Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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