I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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