There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
