I wish i was in the wii world.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
