both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
