I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
