Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
