Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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