Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
