So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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