ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
