I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
