Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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