dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he was CRYING into my vagina
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
