It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You need Xanax blowdarts
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
