Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
