Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
