ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
