So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
