How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
