i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
