Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
