In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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