there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
