no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
