Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Who died my cat blue again?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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