The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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