Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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