ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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