It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
