Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
