yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My Higher Power is John Stamos
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
