I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
