too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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