I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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