I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
