he wants to bone in the snuggie
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
