i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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