It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
