You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
