i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
