dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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