When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
