You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
