No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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