Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Randomize
