Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
