Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
